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- By Nathan Allen
IS THE PHILIPPINES REALLY THAT BEAUTIFUL?
You may be thinking that the Philippines I capture in my travel blog is nothing like the real Philippines - what (from a western
perspective) you see on the news and read about in the papers...the poverty, the despair, the suffering. Well to an extent, this is true.
I am guilty of seeing the world through "rose colored glasses" - I can't deny that. I also choose to share the world I see with you, and lately I've had some requests for something a bit more raw. Well, after one year living and traveling all over the Philippines, here are my thoughts:
Yes, there is a lot of poverty. So much poverty. I have really been smacked in the face with it now that I'm finally leaving. I tend to make the most of wherever I am; to overlook the bad and only see the good in every situation - or at least try to. If you're a westerner traveling through India and the Philippines for 14 months like I have, this is kind of a necessity.
However, now I think I am seeing things a bit more clearly, because my "coping mechanism" is allowing me to (basically because I am leaving). This is a tiny country with over 97 MILLION people in it. The lack of education and the Catholic Church's stance on birth control has not helped the situation here.
WEALTH AND HAPPINESS - BIG CITIES VS. THE PROVINCES
What's worth mentioning is that I have noticed a huge distinction between the heartbreaking poverty in big cities like Cebu and Manila, and what I experienced in the provinces, which is just villagers who simply don't have money. You see, many people out in the villages, they are happy. They have very little, and they don't seem to want for more - I believe "poverty" is in the wanting, the longing for things one doesn't have. The villagers are not impoverished - in many cases they live rich, full lives. The family I stayed with in El Nido is a good example of this. They have their faith, their families and friends, and (hopefully) plenty of food that they can grow themselves or farm from the sea. They live so simply, but again, they are happy. From my perspective, there is a lot to be learned from this simplicity. It illustrated to me how in many cases poverty is just a state of mind.
Another very interesting thing I noticed is that the less money people have, the more religiously devout they tend to be.
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN
There is money in this country...it's just that it's almost all in the hands of only a few families (dynasties). It's very similar to the U.S. in this respect, though the disparity here is much greater. Manila and Cebu are rapidly becoming high-tech modern metropolises. My brother was shocked to see this photo I took of the skyline in Makati, Manila (on the left). He never imagined the Philippines looked like this. If you have the means, you can easily spend hundreds of dollars (USD) on a fancy dinner in an upscale restaurant.
This is one of two (see below) negative aspects of U.S. "culture" that I fear have been exported to the Philippines - especially in Manila and Cebu. However, I suppose they are responsible for economic growth here. Manila is a massive urban sprawl, and while it has a few nice (in my opinion) tourist attractions such as Intramuros and Rizal Park, it seems mostly to be just one giant shopping mall. It's one of the main things people DO in Manila. They just go to the mall. For the sake of "fitting in" and looking fabulous, they spend a very disproportionate amount of their income on a Frappuccino at Starbucks or a new pair of designer jeans. Then they take a jeepney (public transportation) back home to the slums in some cases - with barely a roof over their head. Again, this is that "culture of poverty", and I think it's a byproduct of U.S. style consumerism.
FAST FOOD CULTURE
American fast food chains like McDonald's, Wendy's, Pizza Hut, and Dunkin' Donuts are EVERYWHERE - and when you look at the average income here, you realize that these places are not exactly cheap. They are very unhealthy of course, and are ironically considered somewhat of a "luxury" by many. I worry about the amount of soda many Filipinos drink as well. It is such a common thing to drink it with each meal, and in a country where people don't always have access to dentists or health care (for sugar-related conditions like diabetes), it concerns me.
IT'S MORE FUN....OUTSIDE OF MANILA
*Just so you know, if you've only been to Manila, you haven't really been to the Philippines. Pretty much all western tourists agree that once they got out of Manila they began to really love the country. To be fair, it *could* be that Manila is not "exotic" enough for tourists who are looking for a real change of pace from their normal lives. Speaking of pace, the pace in the Philippines is slowwwww. This is island life. I found as a westerner that in Manila specifically, the pace is just infuriating (you could be in that cashier's line for a LONG time, trust me...and that's once you've spent a few hours just getting through traffic to GET to the store in the first place). I guess I just had this idea of what a major city is "supposed" to be like, and that notion must be thrown out the window when it comes to Manila. However, once you get out to the islands (AKA paradise), you'll find that the slow pace is just right.
Another interesting thing is that to me, Manila is essentially a giant version of a Filipino barangay, or neighborhood - and in this sense it's quite impressive. I don't know of any other major city in the world that has preserved a sense of community on such a massive scale. It's a testament to the ultra-communal Filipino culture, which I'll touch on later.
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A "GOD FEARING" COUNTRY
When I first arrived in the Philippines, the religiosity was overwhelming. I say this coming from a place like San Francisco in California, and Europeans certainly agree with me on this one. There are even churches in shopping malls here. I remember being very shocked to read a prominent sign in an elementary school that read: "We are a God-fearing school". Such a bold religious statement, displayed in a public school - this was so fascinating to me! Europeans think the US is overly religious, but it's nothing compared to here.
However, as time has gone by, I have come to appreciate and embrace the "church culture" here. I see the good that it does people, and I now frequently use quiet chapels here to reflect and go over all the things I am very grateful for - as often as possible. I have actually found quite a few similarities between the way I was raised (Mormon, though just in my youth) and Filipino culture. Both cultures have strong family values, and both are also generally considered to be quite warm and friendly. In a way, I think being in the Philippines has reconnected me with my own culture.
What's fascinating to me are all the contradictions, given that it is one of the most religious countries in the world. Gambling, drinking, and men with mistresses are very common. I remember reading in a book on Filipino culture that a man with a mistress is not only accepted, it's almost even encouraged. It's a sign of machismo. As much as some of my Filipino friends may want to deny this, in my experience it does seem to be true. I do agree that times seem to be changing, though.
The other interesting thing is the bakla (gay) culture here. It's quite prevalent, and on the surface, seems to be very accepted. There are very famous gay stars, and everybody seems to have at least one gay uncle or brother. This is why I am surprised there are so many men here that really seem gay but would never admit it. I suppose it's because of the church's influence, but for such a tolerant country with so many widely celebrated gay stars/contributors to society, it's so odd to me. For a bit of background, I come from the very liberal (gay friendly) San Francisco bay area in the U.S.
Filipinos always tell me to be careful when going anywhere, and many of them seem to be a bit afraid of all kinds of things (weather, criminals, evil spirits/superstitions). I wonder where all this fear comes from...did the Spanish bring it when they colonized the Philippines hundreds of years ago, or was it already here? The church definitely used fear as a tool, and this brand of "old school" Catholisicm does seem to be alive and well here in the Philippines. Just like in the US, the news programs on TV here can be very negative, dramatic, and in my opinion, even unethical at times.
However, I think geography may play a part as well. The country is comprised of over 7,000 islands, so different groups were usually quite cut off from each other. It is human nature to have a fear of the unknown, and traditionally Filipinos would stick to their tight-knit families and didn't have a need to travel. I met countless people in the provinces who had the means but had never made the 30 minute journey to the next village - and they were 50 year-old men and women! The evolution of distinctly different language (with over 120 dialects) here is another testament to the "isolated island" theory. Of course, one more explanation is the constant threat of typhoons, earthquakes, and weather-related catastrophes in general.
* With a growing economy and the very successful new "It's More Fun In The Philippines" tourism campaign, more Filipinos are now starting to branch out and explore their country (and the rest of the world). I think this is great!
FOREIGNERS AND SAFETY
In any case, as a foreginer, locals are always extra concerned for my safety. The irony is that I believe it is more dangerous for other Filipinos than it is for foreigners! It could just be that I'm not an easy target, but usually people were just shocked and fascinated to see me walking through their neighborhoods in the middle of the night. Perhaps the language barrier is intimidating to them, or they just think that Filipinos will be less likely to fight back? Not sure, but I just know that in all this time I have never had a problem. As for my Filipino friends, I have heard many stories from them personally - stories of armed robbery, shootings...stabbings. It does happen, I'm just saying that if you are a foreginer (at least one my size?), the risk is not as high as people might have you believe. Just like in the U.S., the perceived risk seems to be much greater than the actual risk.
* "Joe" is the nickname given to American soldiers, as in "G.I. Joe" - from the war days.
When I made my way down south to Cebu and the Visayas, I was shocked that people were not impressed with my meager knowledge of Tagalog. I say this because in Manila (and up north in general), people are often completely flattered that you can speak ANY Tagalog. Down south, not only were they not impressed with my Tagalog, but they demanded to know why I couldn't already speak Bisaya - their dialect! Haha. At first I found them kind of rude, honestly, but soon began to really appreciate their sense of pride. I really came to love the people and culture down there. Bisaya people don't like Tagalog because they believe that the majority of people in the Philippines speak Bisaya, and that it should have been chosen as the national language instead of Tagalog. Unfortunately they are also looked down on by many people in Manila.
If somebody from Manila visits the Visayas and speaks to the locals in Tagalog, the locals will answer back in English, even though they can speak Tagalog well (they must learn it in school). Again, the point is I love this sense of pride that Bisaya people have in their language, culture, and food...and I wish that people up north weren't quite so "western-worshipping". There were times when I almost seemed to embarrass people in Manila by speaking their own language (Tagalog), as if they were ashamed of it. Filipinos have so much wonderful culture and heritage - I would like to see all Filipinos celebrate and take pride in it.
• People actually point with their lips. Seriously, it's true.
• "Filipino time" is basically the same as "island time" in Hawaii. "I'll get there....eventually." "I'll get it done....eventually".
• Cebu Pacific Airlines has a cartoon airplane for a logo, dancing stewardesses, and hip hop music playing as you board - even at 7AM. It makes the whole "flying experience" much more relaxed for those who find it stressful.
• People sing "Happy Birthday" here just like we do in the U.S., except they don't use the person's name. They just repeat "happy birthday" one more time instead. My joke is that families here are SO big (LOTS of birthdays), that it's easier to do it this way and not have to know/remember the person's actual name!!
This is something that I hear Filipinos in customer service say all the time. Of course, from a western perspective this is the LAST thing you want to say to your customers, and I try to
explain to Filipinos that it's basically like saying to your customer: "OK sir, just sit here and wait a LONG TIME".
However, due to a few failed experiments with sarcasm, I realized that Filipinos are VERY literal. "Wait for a while" actually makes a LOT more sense than "please wait just a moment", or "wait just a sec", like we say in the west. We are not going to only be a moment or a second...what we probably mean is actually "a while"!! Oh, the irony. Filipinos have that one figured out. It made me realize that English really doesn't make much sense in general, and I'm so glad that I didn't have to learn it as an adult. Tagalog is a great language! It just makes so much more sense to me. I can see a brand new word, and the chances that I will be able to pronounce it correctly on the first try are very high. Phoenetically accurate languages are much appreciated!
SMOOCH SMOOCH, HOW ABOUT A RIDE?
This is a "jeepney" - a vehicle left over from the war that was re-purposed for public transportation. Filipinos are world-class "repurposers". They are so ingenious, and can fix or create just about anything with parts lying around! In Cebu, drivers patrol the streets looking for passengers. When they see somebody waiting or walking on the side of the road, the driver leans out the window and makes a loud "kissing" (lip-smacking) sound to get their attention! I was in total disbelief the first time I witnessed this. Doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman. From the best of my knowledge, riders inside of the jeepney can also do this to indicate to the driver that they would like him to stop. You can also just bang a coin on the metal parts of the jeepney to get his attention. A jeepney ride costs less than 25 cents (US).
Everybody on the jeepney works together to pass the driver each person's fare as he or she gets on. There is an honor system - and I guess with that many eyes on you as you enter, there is pressure on you to make sure and pay - not to mention it's just the right thing to do!
This is an uber social + communal culture, and food is the centerpiece of all get-togethers. In the Philippines, "Have you eaten yet??" is actually a form of greeting. From the minute a Filipino is born, he or she has an extensive network of relatives who are constantly involved in his or life. It is no wonder that Filipinos rarely travel alone, or do anything alone for that matter.
One afternoon I was sitting on the beach in El Nido just staring out into the sea in appreciation. A group of little girls came up to me and asked "malungkot ka?" (Are you sad?) I was actually quite content, and was appreciating the stunning view before me. This question, because I was alone, perfectly illustrates one of the key differences between the Philippines and the western world.
IF YOU PULL IT OUT, YOU BETTER BE READY TO SHARE IT
Everything is communal - Filipinos might feel uncomfortable eating a snack on a crowded bus wthout offering some to those around them. There is quite a bit of social etiquette in this culture. Dinner for a group is ordered "family-style", and you'll always find that nobody wants to be the one to eat the last bite on the plate. Not even I will do this anymore!
LEAVING THE NEST
We as westerners are independent; Filipinos are interdependent. We grow up and are encouraged to "leave the nest" when we turn 18...Filipino parents may be
devastated if their children ever decide to leave home! Our parents may feel that they brought us into this world, and that they owe us - while traditionally,
Filipino children owe their parents everything. Of course, the most mentioned difference is sending our parents to a "center for the elderly" when they get
older. In the Philippines this would just be unheard of - and it has nothing to do with economics.
"ULTRA" MODESTY - AND ITS POSSIBLE NEGATIVE EFFECTS?
From a western perspective, modesty seems to be practiced to extremes here - nobody wants to appear to be overacting or "O.A.". I think Filipinos growing up are discouraged from being too proud of their abilities and accomplishments. Sometimes I wonder if the fear of being perceived as a "show off" might keep some Filipinos from "aiming higher" and really pursuing success. One area where westerners get frustrated here is customer service. I think perhaps because many Filipino customers don't want to complain and cause an employee to "lose face", the overall service at a restaurant or hotel suffers in the long run. Standards just seem to be lower. I've heard it's a very "American" thing to complain about services and products, though Europeans definitely do it, too. It may seem like a bad thing, but I believe it can really "raise the bar" for all establishments over time, and the customers are the ones who win in the end. For the sake of being globally competitive, I would like to see the service-standards in the Philippines raised, while somehow preserving that traditional Filipino politeness and etiquette at the same time. Filipinos: Demand more! You work hard for your money, I say get the most out of it.
* One thing worth mentioning is that it's not really a "tipping culture" here, so servers don't have the same incentive to provide exceptional service. Sadly, not only do
they not receive tips, but people in these sectors really don't get paid much at all, either. So foreigners, please go easy on them. Another thing to mention is that locals
in Manila are much better at speaking up and complaining than anywhere else.
Be patient. This is not your country, things work differently here. Learn to relax, enjoy life a bit more, realize that life's too short to run yourself into the ground and get too wound up over bad traffic or "slow" service.
Filipinos don't generally try to rip people off like it happens in places like Thailand and Vietnam. Still though, it's a good idea to always count your change. We are very used to just putting the change in our pocket without a second thought - and some sneaky employees (in Manila and Cebu) know that.
I've heard this from locals AND expats: Filipinos are very patient and very tolerant, but do NOT push them too far. It's very hard, but once you get them to THAT point, their personal sense of pride and/or honor may come into play, and if you start fighting, they may not stop until they've finished the job.
If you are a man and you end up in a relationship here, buckle your seat belt. Perhaps it's the Spanish blood, but relationships here can be passionate. Fiery...and with loads of jealousy and drama. Drama seems to be a form of entertainment here, and as a local explained to me, maybe it comes from the close-knit family dynamic. Everybody knows everybody's business, and gossiping about it seems to be one of the primary forms of entertainment. Watching a "telenovela" (soap opera) on TV will give you a good idea of just how dramatic the culture can possibly be. I guess when you look at the situation with men's wives and mistresses, it makes sense that jealousy would be a part of the equation.
A popular misconception is that most Filipinas are looking for a green card to escape their country. In fact, I know a lot of expats who have escaped their own countries to come HERE (the US DEFINITELY included) - a place where life is good; no cold winters, everything is affordable, and regulations are more relaxed. When you also factor in how close Filipinas are with their families, you realize being on the other side of the world from them is the LAST thing they want to do.
I have spent an entire year exploring and living in this beautiful country. I have done my best to try and learn 3 distinct dialects (3 of over a HUNDRED). On multiple occasions I have actually even ENJOYED balut (fertilized duck egg). I found "my voice" while exploring countless videoke bars in the provinces...I have been known to sing "Pusong Bato" and "My Way" (Filipino karaoke classics) when I get the chance. I slept in a candle-lit nipa hut in the lush green mountains of Luzon. I swam with giant sea turtles off of Apo Island. In Manila I crossed Edsa on foot and learned the complex jeepney routes. I went fishing in Bacuit Bay, rode "top load" (on top of the jeepney) on one of the world's most dangerous roads in Ifugao, and went to a "witchdoctor's" festival on the island of Siquijor.
I don't know how it's possible, but I have been both hardened AND softened by my experience here. This is a good thing. I have tried my best to curb my judgment and accept this culture just as it is. I love the Philippines.
To all I have met along the way, I sincerely thank you for making me feel so welcome and at home here. When I look through my friends list on Facebook now I seem to have just as many connections on this side of the world as I do on the other!
When I get on the plane tomorrow I imagine it's going to be VERY hard.
We WILL meet again.
- Nathan Allen
PS...these are my perceptions based on my time here. I am very critical of my own (American) culture and politics as well. If you have anything to add or correct, please do post and let me know!
If you "like" I Dreamed Of This on FB (see below) I promise to add more beautiful Philippine posts and photos soon...as well as India, because my Filipinos friends have really been pushing me to post those! Thanks for your comments, and for helping me spread the word! I just started this site 2 weeks ago and really appreciate all the wonderful support and feedback.
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